We’re told that in order to be free, that in order to love freely and unconditionally, that leaving our expectations at the door is necessary in order for us to fully enjoy the experience. I do not disagree with this, however I think it can be healthy to have expectations in our sexual and romantic relationships. I believe it’s important to find practice that enhances your life, the life of those around you and enriches your relationships with the people in your life–your relatives, your friends, your lovers, your partners, acquaintances, co-workers, housemates and every single human being that crosses your path–those seen and unseen.
In my romantic and sexual relationships I’ve developed expectations that have completely transformed the type of people who are drawn to me, their actions toward me and most importantly how I feel and see myself in love, sex, desire and attraction. You should establish your expectations based on how you want to treat others around you. My expectations are as follows:
- I expect to share in laughter with my lovers/partners
- I expect for you to give me shit! They include:
- funny faces (at least if I give you a few)
- ease and peace wherever and whenever possible
- I expect our sexual encounters to be pleasurable (and we can determine each time what pleasurable means to each of us based on our particular mood or just how the wind is blowing that day)
- A smile once in a while
- Sweet/kind words or piercing, lustful silence
- I expect laughter
- I expect a slow wine
I have no choice but to respect you…look at all the shit you just gave me.