Vibrators & Feminists

Feminist chicks at university are always taller than you are and they make you feel inferior for being a midget. They wear hoodies all autumn and winter and in the student lounges, even though there is an adequate amount of seating, they sit on the floor cross-legged with their books sprawled out and open–that way [...]

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Feminist Men / Girls You Bring Home to Mama

There are few differences between men who are “feminists” and men who “aren’t anti-feminist.”
Feminist Men VS “I’m not anti-feminist” Men:
1. “I’m not…” Men have to be asked or prodded to perform oral sex.
-Feminist men go right for it, no questions asked, doesn’t matter if you’ve just stepped out of the shower or right out [...]

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That was Awkward

Part of the problem is that I don’t know WHEN to be embarrassed or feel “awkward.” That’s not to say that I’m completely clueless about what constitutes and embarrassing episode for parties involved, however, it does oft relegate me to something closer to daftness than “embarrassment.” I’ll give you a few examples. But first, I [...]

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Interesting facts & Figures Illuminati & freaks

I have been invited to join the order of the Eastern Star. I don’t know what to think about Freemasons, truth is I think a lot of things but have no straight answers, so I’ll leave it alone and come back to it another time. School is in again, vacation was too short and not [...]

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Incense Burners

Another group of people I like to make fun of. Like Hipsters, Incense Burners (IB) occupy their own special place within society and likewise within the larger community of “alternative” cliques (or more adequately–clichés). One must be careful when attempting to identify an IB. Rather than distinguishing IBs based on their style of dress or [...]

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When You Pee Standing Up

Writing is misery and writers want to die. The ones who write inspirational 600-page books make me wanna puke. This morning I met with with some folks from “EA” (SUNDAY 16th). I know/hope that they are not reading this right now. Sometimes, I get really tired of tree-hugging, hippie, lefty, protesty people and I just [...]

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Dancing on table tops is not my thing

Tim Brantley and the Tenth Street Boys is a very good Atlanta band. I went to their show last night. Sometimes the worst thing about bands isn’t their music or stage presence. Sometimes it’s the fans. Everything else is great about this band–except that. Over 90% of the crowd is either a member of some [...]

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Vending Machines, Capitalism & Force Feeding

Sounds deep don’t it? Twenty minutes to class and I am on a writing rampage, which is good because I have a 3-page paper due in 20 minutes and I’ve only written one so far. But it’s okay, I can type it up in class and hand it in at the end 4:30–so technically I [...]

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People at the Airport

The people at the airports are the same people who walk the city streets among us everyday. They take our orders and give us orders. Most of the time they sit around and watch people around them as we watch them. On a normal day, they might reply with a smile if you send one [...]

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The Human Body is Disgusting

Is there such a shade as “light black?” I ask because that was the color of what came out of my nose this morning. There was not even a hint of green nor a shade of yellow. A few hours later the colors changed to bright orange, deep purple, green-blue. What’s most disgusting is [...]

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